Yahoo! Mash Invite

If any one of you is looking for a Mash invite ...then you can comment or mail me and I will send you an invitation. More information about Mash can be found here

Doordarshan Amazing Comeback Plan??

Some personal updates first,I am now a full time employee of Yahoo! India R & D and the money is more than what I ever dreamt of. So in short , the order shall now soon be restored back to the people and the world will be liberated from the Evil domination of Google.

Moving ahead last night around 2 a.m. while desperately surfing the TV (for a good movie! You pervert!!) , I made an interesting observation :
Doordarshan (Official Indian Govt. Broadcaster) shows children's cartoons from mid night till early morning.Now that should be reason enough to figure out why the people working at DD are neither getting laid nor making enough money. I may not be a psychologist but even my neurons can figure out that the last thing a curious kid awake till 1 a.m. would be interested in is a cartoon about Winnie the Pooh! if you know what i mean :D.I am sure FTV and Aajtak never saw this coming.

Now if you consider that odd then here comes the really strange part . The shows have commercial breaks in between where they show advertisement of candies,gum etc. Now I am seriously confused . Are the children really staying up all night to watch cartoons?? or are our Marketing people are also going crazy (read : not getting laid) or this is part of a much larger conspiracy or scandal that I am not aware of.Any response regarding this are welcome...

Pratibha Tai our new President Huh ??

The country is all set to have its first women President and you couldn't have got a better choice then Mrs Pratibha Patil.I still don't get it why so many people are making a fuss about the criminal allegation against her.What these idiots have to understand is that President represents the people of the country .Now we have a country where 60% of people and 100 % of the Politicians are corrupt to their core.Do you want all these poor people feeling left out.We have two more candidate for the race. Mr B.S Shekhavat and His Excellency Dr APJ Abdul Kalam.Lets see how each of them compares out so far ....

Kalam started his career as an Engineer building some flying stuff.(Can you possibly call that impressive ,why don't I slam my head on a chainsaw instead).
Shekhavat started his career as a policeman .(Well at least he is on the correct path to become corrupt).
Patil started her career as a Politician at the age of 28.(Now that's what I call Impressive .You can see her will and determination to become corrupt and decimate the nation.)

Kalam in his midlife built rockets and some prosthetic limbs stuff for Polio victims .He also decides not to get married.(Why doesn't this dude get a life instead).
Shekhavat gets suspended for corruption charges as a Policeman ( Million of Policemen get suspended over the same charges ... what makes him so special).
Patil successfully makes a loan worth crores disappear with her kind family.(Now that's impressive or what)

Kalam starts teaching at Anna University (Ya Right Bite me).
Shekhavat as Chief Minister stops and Lies about a serious CBI enquiry against his Son in Law(At least now he has my attention).
Patil charged with covering up the Murder allegedly committed by her Brother(WoW scandals , murder and a women ,would I be called a pervert if I say thats the kind of stuff that turns some people on!!!.)

Kalam is a moderate muslim who has read Geeta , Quran and other great books and believe in logical reasoning and Open Source Software. ( NERD ALERT!! NERD ALERT!! )
Shekhavat is a former RSS member (That's a relief !!!)
Patil believes she talks to a dead Baba in her sleep , wanted to sterilize all the men having hereditary diseases , thinks purdah was introduced to shield the great indian women from Muslims and is one of the greatest believers in astrology .( Oh my !! Dumb , superstitious and talks to dead spirits,Will wonders ever cease).

So as far as I can say Patil wins the race hands down . If Mr Shekhavat is caught red handed molesting little children then I might reconsider.Surely Mrs Patil will be a great president , She will not be a rubber stamp and will certainly Stop idiots like Mr Arjun Singh from implementing 10 % quota for general category.She stopped her Brother and Husband Right ??

Actually this is not that bad , People in US take great pleasure in making fun of their President and we always felt left out. Making fun of Dr Kalam and Mr Manmohan Singh will be like making fun of yourself. Half of the funny looking leaders are not in power, hell even Railways is now running into profit so Lalu is out of question.But now we have new hope in Pratibha Tai ..... all we have to do is to give her a chance to speak in public and just listen carefully and soon we will have some funny quotes of our own just like USA has of George W Bush.

To end a special goodbye to His Excellency Dr APJ Abdul Kalam one of the greatest geeks and visionaries to walk on this land. May he find happiness in Teaching .

Geek Dating flowchart

This image has been shamelessly stolen from here

Girls quota for Geeks

Once again the whole reservation issue is in news over an SC order.OBC's ,Muslims , SC's and ST's are all fighting among themselves to gain the backward status. What I don't get is that why we only take social and economic backwardness .... why forget the backwardness in one's fair share of females.I put forward the following arguments for the female reserved quota for geeks.

1) Geeks contributes the most in the progress of human species.If it wasn't for a geek in the stone age , some Management bozzo would have convinced people to use triangular wheels instead of a circular one with a statement like "Yes Adam !! I know the ride is a little bumpy ... but looking at the demand for this product in the International market , I think we can get away with it by calling it a known feature bug".
2) Its a known fact that geeks are socially oppressed in the whole world.For Instance I have heard comments ranging from "I am sure he is a phycho serial killer" to "What the Fuck is that????" .I am sure none of the OBC people faced this kind of oppression anytime.
3) It's a statistically known fact that Girlfriends/Wives most of the times prove help full in reproduction of the off springs. Which is a right of every geek in this world.This can be directly added as a clause to the Fundamental right of free living and hence deduces to a Fundamental right.
4) Geeks comprises true minority on Earth.In India itself the single geeks headcount would be around 0.3-0.4 million out of 1.1 Billion .Hence not
Muslims not Christians not OBC's but geeks are the real minority.In addition to that geeks pay one of the highest Income Taxes in the country.
5) If the situation not improved OBC faces chances of social backwardness compared to endangered Geekkind which faces severe chances of Extinction.
6) Geeks prove to be better Husbands/Lovers/Boy Friends . For details refer to this earlier post here.
Now I foresee some Issues with this kind of reservation and I will address each of them one by one
1)Creamy Layer : Yes I Know A person benefited from reservation once should not be benefited again but in this case I think we can make an exception .
Reason: A girlfriend may run after 2 days ......Consider the analogy of jobs reservation .You provide the candidates with jobs and not Interviews.Lets say the geek and the chick got married or something then I can consider him in creamy layer.
But then the benefits should not be taken away from the children if they prove to be geeks too.Because they are backward too.We can fix the number of girls per geek ratio to be 3.0 ...Considering our importance to the nation ,Is that to much to ask for??
2)YFE: Well believe me ...a lot and I mean a lot of Youth for Equality representatives won't have any issues with this ....Instead I believe we can strike out a deal with the government ...."No problems with OBC's ....just give us the chicks".
3)Implementation:Well how about creating extra seats in elite geek Institutions like IIT's,IIIT's and IISc etc.We can fill these extra seats with girls.The Entrance Interview can be taken by geeks themselves.Emphasis should be paid on girls with IQ in 70-100 with super hot external features.This way they remain dependent on geeks for passing the exams.Also this way you get more qualified females in the Industries hence solving many other problems.

So I call upon all geeks to come and support this cause .Also remember "Happy Geek gives rise to Google,Yahoo,Linux ,sad geek causes Hindenburg Disaster,Space Shuttle Challenger/Columbia Crash and Virginia Tech University Massacre".Do I need to say more ??

Home Coming of Indian Tigers

The ICC World Cup had just started and the Indian Tigers have already been shown the way home by the Bangladeshi Tigers. It only seemed like three days back when the Team was sent to West Indies to bring back the cup. Then again I realized actually it was only three days back when they actually left India.
And the World Cup couldn't have been better : Murder Mystery, bikini babes, mistrust among the players, match fixing , spiced up controversies, Bangladesh defeating India and South Africa, Ireland Defeating Pakistan and of course lots of money .... what more entertainment could one ask for. Maybe It would have been better that if Team India would still be playing in the tournament. Maybe the ICC should have brought India back in the Tournament after all you do have wild card entry system in most of the Reality shows.But then again I realized that If India is called back , the general public will again attack the homes of the cricketers only this time to stop them from going to West Indies again.
And maybe returning of India from WC is not that bad. No more "Huh..Hah" Bullshit , no more 1 hour daily discussion on Why Tendulkar will play a major role in India's win in World cup ,no more Idiotic ads of Cricketers running all over the city for a bottle of diluted pesticides. Indian Television is beautiful once again . Indian News channel should now focus their attention to more important issues like Why are not geeks getting their fair share of Girls. And for me ....well eagerly awaiting to cheer the Team in upcoming tours of Bangladesh and Ireland . Expecting to see some close matches .

The Ultimate Geek Test Vol-2 : Return of the Supreme Geek

I started this blog to fulfill three tasks
1)Upliftment of Geek Kind
2)World Peace
3)To get a girl friend

Since neither of the three have been accomplished as of yet ,hence I don't find any reason to stop blogging.I present a sequel to much critically acclaimed "The Ultimate Geek Test" (Out of 7 people who read the post 3 said that its crap ,rest 4 said they don't give a shit about it anyway) called "The Ultimate Geek Test Vol 2 :Return of the Supreme Geek".This Volume distinguishes the Real Geek from the Supreme Geek.

1)Geeks use command line to move files ,Supreme geeks makes their own assembly language utilities for the same.
2)Geeks are sometimes good hackers,Supreme Geeks already know who killed JFK through their own personal shell account in most of US government confidential servers.
3)Geeks wear T-shirts belonging to the latest product of "Google" or having some geek slogan on back......Supreme geeks on the other hand don't touch any piece of cloth unless its certified by GNU , have an open source slogan and guarantee to remain miles away from any kind of human(read: female) touch.
4)Geeks comment and document their code so its usable in future ,Supreme geek on the other hand believe that anyone unable to understand his obfuscated code by himself is not worthy of understanding his code.
5)Geeks read licence agreement and instructions while installing softwares.....Supreme geeks eyes only look for "next" and "continue" button.They prefer if they can compile the 100 MB source code from scratch.
6)Geeks boast about the greatness of Open Source ....Supreme geeks can recite the whole GPL licence by heart.
7)Most geeks work only on Linux . Supreme geeks have their own personally made distros of Linux.
8)Most geeks become angry if they are told merits of Windows .One of supreme geeks "Hans Reiser" has aldready been arrested by police on suspician of murdering his wife.(who I speculate was not a big linux fan)